Mistake. early as my kindergarten days, I hated

Mistake. This word seemed deceptively harmless. Yet just the mention of it could send waves of fear and frustration flooding over me. Back in primary school, or even as early as my kindergarten days, I hated letting others look through my work. I hated how they scrutinised it – how their probing eyes scanned through each and every small details. Most of all, it was how they nonchalantly pointed out all the errors I made. It reminded me that yet another item would be added into my list of flaws and failures. This was something which I refused to accept.Unbeknown to me at that time, mistakes are precious chances for me to take a bigger step towards my dream of being “flawless”. They are the spaces for improvements in life.It was really difficult for me to admit the fact that I was the one at fault – and no matter how hard I tried, I was imperfect. I did not want to let my parents down, but most importantly, I was afraid to let myself down. This pushed me to the edge of putting my relationships with others at stake. In primary school, I would often have arguments with my friends. Most of the time, they were about certain practice questions which we just did. When I realised that my answers were different from theirs, I would automatically jump to my own defence and insist that I had done it correctly. I did not even think twice about it – I was so certain that I was right, and they were wrong. No, it was not about the pride or arrogance in me. Instead, it was the sense of threat and insecurity which I felt that prompted me to defend myself. Trapped in my own bubble, the only help I could receive when I was in need was from myself. The same mistakes were repeated again and again. Blocking out the voices of others, I could never identify them and act upon them. What had I done wrong? I often questioned myself. Yet the only thing I knew was to escape from the answer, and run away from my mistakes. My sister was the one who managed to pull me back. “You know, everyone has their own shortcomings so it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes.” She told me after I finally had the courage to spill out my troubles. “You should know that there are many people who are willing support you no matter what. All you have to do is to open up to us and treat our feedbacks as a motivation to spur you on.” Her words reminded me of the times when people pointed out my errors for me. Had they done it for a laugh? No, they didn’t. So why did they even bother to do that? It wasn’t done to tell me that I was incompetent, they did it to help me improve myself. They did it out of genuine concern. I know that I will surely still experience difficulties in accepting my future mistakes. But at least now, I truly understand that we should treat mistakes as a chance for improvements, the fear of making mistakes itself can become a larger fault. To get the best out of yourself, embrace your mistakes. This is my belief. 

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